she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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