i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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