I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
