The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
