Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
