oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
