how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
