im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
