8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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