why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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