He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
