I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
we made out on top of his cat.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
