if i can run in heels then i can drive
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize