I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
