yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Can Purell be used as lube?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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