I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
