she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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