I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
