its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
that's an acceptable place to lick
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
