when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
