just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize