its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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