just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
