And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹ï¸
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize