Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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