i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Randomize
