I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize