You just made me feel so damn special
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
