Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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