i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
