john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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