How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
