You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize