so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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