Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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