doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
