The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
you're hired as official boob wrangler
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