dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
