So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just google imaged poop.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
