they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
