You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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