I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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