Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
