Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Found the puke drawer
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
