Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
