Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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