guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
