just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
