i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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