Me too!
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
