Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I booty called her while she was in labor.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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