If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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