My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
porn star boner night. come get it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize