Define "chronic" masturbator.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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