how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
