she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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