Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
When are your genitals available?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
