So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Randomize
