First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
i out mim tonsoeep
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