We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
