We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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