you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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