All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
what day is it and did you see me today?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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