ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
